Cerulean Sins - Interlude #1

[nathaniel_kitten]

Nathaniel, still dressed in that ridiculous outfit Jean-Claude had ordered him placed into, is pacing Asher's room. He'd unbound his hair, though, the moment he'd entered the room he'd come to see as a quiet haven, where no one bothered them, where no one dared to bother them.

But now... now he's livid and angry and downright pissed.

Asher had slept with Anita. He'd fucked Anita and Jean-Claude and hadn't even warned him! Hadn't asked his opinion. Hadn't done anything but do what he'd wanted. Oh, he'd known Asher would be with Jean-Claude again, but he'd never thought his vampire would sleep with Anita. Never!

It brings tears to his eyes, and he furiously swipes them from his cheeks.

What was worse, Anita had slept with Asher.

Of course she had. Why wouldn't she? He'd been unable to resist the vampire, how could Anita? But Asher didn't even like Anita. At least Nathaniel loved her! She'd rather sleep with someone she didn't trust, who didn't love her, than with him.

He stops with his back to the door and bows his head, covering his face with his hands as he tries to control to sobs that escape him in little, halted sounds.

It simply wasn't fair, and he was growing tired of his life never having a moment of fairness in it.

Comments

[nathaniel_kitten]

With his sock half on, Nathaniel stares at his foot.

"I think so, yes," Nathaniel finally murmurs. "If I had known, if you'd explained the reasons... I know I wouldn't have objected because I wouldn't have wanted Musette to hurt you."

Only now does he look at Asher again.

"But I didn't know. I didn't know, and my friends -- the people who have been covering for us for months now -- saw that I didn't know. It's an awful feeling. I don't like feeling like the punchline of some joke I didn't even know was being made." Now the tears return, no matter how much he fights them. "I told you at the beginning that all you needed to do was tell me where I belonged, but you didn't, you just told me you loved me. Do I come before them? Do they come before me?"

And now that youth Asher spoke of comes to the forefront, because Nathaniel is terribly stunted emotionally. He bows his head, sniffling.

"Just tell me where I belong, Asher, that's all I've asked of you, all I still ask of you. Where do I belong?"

[ash-imperfect.livejournal.com]

Asher moves, kneeling at Nathaniel's feet.

"Oh, mon chat," he sighs, reaching up to cup his cheek. There are many nights he wishes he could have again, change things - and his night with Anita and Jean-Claude has just been added to the list.

"You belong here," he murmurs, wiping away a tear with his thumb. "You, first and always." He sighs. "If it upsets you, if you do not wish me to be intimate with Anita and," he pauses, unsure if he can promise it. "Jean-Claude, too. I will do what you ask." It will make him deeply unhappy, but if it's a choice between losing Jean-Claude, whom he only has half of, at best, and losing Nathaniel, he knows what his choice will be.

[nathaniel_kitten]

Nathaniel's brow furrows.

"I would never ask you to choose between us," he breathes. "Never. I knew you loved him before we were ever anything. I accepted that, that at some point... you would be with him again. I won't ask you to do that, I won't."

He doesn't want to make Asher unhappy. He loves Asher, and when you love someone, you make some concessions.

"What upsets me is that I wasn't told." He can't help but lean into Asher's touch, because there simply was nothing like his vampire's touch. "I saw you leave Jean-Claude's room. I was there, in the hallway. You could have told me. You didn't."

[ash-imperfect.livejournal.com]

"I was hurt," Asher murmurs, bowing his head, resting his cheek against Nathaniel's thigh. "Hurt, and angry, and I wanted time to think, to explain to you." He sighs. "I did not think leaving Jean-Claude's room naked, covered in Anita's blood, was how to tell you."

[nathaniel_kitten]

After a moment, Nathaniel's fingers begin to comb through Asher's hair.

"What would you have explained?" he asks. "How would you have told me?"

[ash-imperfect.livejournal.com]

"If there had been time," Asher murmurs, "before Anita even kissed me." He closes his eyes as Nathaniel's fingers slowly move through his hair, letting out a quiet sigh of relief.

"I wanted to come to you," he adds, voice still soft. "When I had showered. But so much is going on, there was no chance." He rests his hand on Nathaniel's knee, gently.

"I love Jean-Claude, and I always will. But I love you more."

[nathaniel_kitten]

Nathaniel smiles an odd smile Asher can't see.

"Don't say that," he says. "It's a sweet sentiment, but love doesn't work like that. Even I know that. All you have to do is live with Anita for a couple of months to know love is what it is, and no one is loved more than anyone else. People are just loved... differently."

He leans over and presses a tender kiss to Asher's temple.

[ash-imperfect.livejournal.com]

Asher smiles, turning so that he's sitting, his back against the side of Nathaniel's chair, the back of his head resting on Nathaniel's thigh. He tugs Nat down for a soft kiss, apologetic and grateful all at once.

"Je t'aime, mon chat," he murmurs, running his hand down Nathaniel's sleeve.

"That outfit...I think Jean Claude put you in it to torture me with what I could not touch," he smiles, faintly.

[nathaniel_kitten]

He laughs quietly, fingers tracing down Asher's throat, but then the laughter dies.

"I was so scared when Belle did what she did to you..."

Nathaniel closes his eyes, resting his brow against Asher's.

"I love you."

This time the kiss is not soft. It's passionate and deep with an edge of desperation to it.

[ash-imperfect.livejournal.com]

Asher slides up from his knees, deepening the kiss, holding on tightly to Nathaniel.

"It is not the first time she has done such a thing," he murmurs. "But I hope it will be the last." He brushes Nathaniel's hair back from his face, letting his fingers slide through the loose strands, combing them down to Nathaniel's waist.

He slides his hands under Nathaniel's shirt as he tries to think of a way to soothe Nathaniel, a way to make up for what has happened. His thumbs smooth across Nathaniel's nipples, unmarked and perfect, and he grins, slowly, into the kiss.

[nathaniel_kitten]

Nathaniel gasps, shivering in the chair, lips just brushing Asher's.

"I want you safe, with me. My knight," he says, his voice breathy and uneven as his fingers glide down Asher's throat. "And why are you grinning like that?"

[ash-imperfect.livejournal.com]

"Because I remembered something, cher," Asher purrs, pushing up Nathaniel's shirt.

"I still have the rings you gave me in my drawer," he points out.

[nathaniel_kitten]

There is staring, even after Asher removes his shirt, baring his chest to his vampire.

"You want to pierce me? Now? Shouldn't you feed and then rest?"

[ash-imperfect.livejournal.com]

"I can do that, after," he murmurs.

"Unless...you do not wish it now?" He leans in, scraping his teeth across one nipple, fangs pricking either side as his tongue flicks across the raised nub.

[nathaniel_kitten]

Nathaniel shudders, moaning as he watches Asher.

"No... no, I... want to. If you want to mark me like that," he whispers.

[ash-imperfect.livejournal.com]

Asher pulls back, rising smoothly to his feet and taking Nathaniel's hand.

"Mmmm, yes," he smirks, fisting the hair at the nape of Nathaniel's neck, tugging his head back sharply. He leans in, nipping at his leopard's throat, leading him towards the bed.

[nathaniel_kitten]

Nathaniel moves as gracefully as he can, but the abrupt change in tone between them leaves him a little off-balance. He sits heavily on the bed, looking up at Asher, his skin flushing with excitement and arousal.

"Asher--"

He stops himself, swallowing the words.

"Do you want me naked or like this?" he asks softly.

[ash-imperfect.livejournal.com]

"Naked," he purrs, running his hand down Nathaniel's shoulder, arm, a soft, soothing caress. He opens his bedside drawer, taking out the two silver rings, carefully laying them on the top of the nightstand.

"I have one more request," he asks, softly. "You are under no obligation to say yes," he pauses, then sits down beside Nathaniel. "I would like to give you the second mark."

[nathaniel_kitten]

He stops mid-strip and stares at Asher.

"The..." Nathaniel swallows. "On purpose?"

[ash-imperfect.livejournal.com]

Asher nods, slowly.

"On purpose, yes. I...I do not want to be afraid of being close to you," Asher explains.

"You won't gain anything from the second mark, but I will be able to taste food, touch you in your dreams. If you do not want that, now is the time to say so."

[nathaniel_kitten]

Asher wanted to do it on purpose.

Not a mistake made in the middle of mind-blowing sex, but because he wants to. Nathaniel doesn't care that he gains nothing tangible out of it. What he gains is intangible and means more to him than he can express. Because Asher chooses him.

A bright, stunning smile dawns on Nathaniel's face, and he leans in to press a relatively chaste kiss to Asher's lips. "Yes. I want that. I want you."

[ash-imperfect.livejournal.com]

Asher smiles back just as brightly, running his fingertips down Nathaniel's chest softly.

"Do you want to be restrained?" He asks, hunger starting to bleed into his voice, want for Nathaniel colouring his words.

[nathaniel_kitten]

A shiver runs down Nathaniel's spine. Just the way Asher could use his voice was a temptation.

"Yes," he whispers. "I trust you."

Asher had, honestly, not done anything to lose that trust, and Nathaniel is secure in this. He trusts Asher, will follow his vampire wherever Asher asks him to go.

[ash-imperfect.livejournal.com]

Asher reaches into the bedside drawer once more, pulling out soft leather cuffs, ones they've used before.

"Your wrists, cher," he commands softly, opening the cuffs.

[nathaniel_kitten]

Nathaniel's heart begins to race, and he squirms the rest of the way out of his sweats, already aroused solely through the anticipation. Once he's naked, Nathaniel holds out his wrists obediently to Asher. His eyes dart from the cuffs to Asher's eyes, and he licks his lips.

"I'm sorry," he says on a quiet exhale. "I could have said it all differently. I didn't have to hurt you. I'm sorry, Asher."

He wanted to say that before the cuffs were set, before anything more happened, because he had handled it badly, allowing himself to become worked up rather than just... ask Asher. Nathaniel knows he will do better next time.