Nathaniel Graison (
nathaniel_kitten) wrote2009-07-10 04:02 am
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"Nathaniel?"
He swims up from sleep, surrounded by Asher's scent, still feeling pleasantly content from the cuddling and kissing that had happened before he'd simply fallen asleep on his vampire.
But that voice was not Asher's.
And neither was that scent.
He sits up suddenly, wide awake, and stares with wide eyes at Anita. His eyes dart from her to Asher, panic in their depths. "Anita?" he chokes out. "You're... you're here..."
He swims up from sleep, surrounded by Asher's scent, still feeling pleasantly content from the cuddling and kissing that had happened before he'd simply fallen asleep on his vampire.
But that voice was not Asher's.
And neither was that scent.
He sits up suddenly, wide awake, and stares with wide eyes at Anita. His eyes dart from her to Asher, panic in their depths. "Anita?" he chokes out. "You're... you're here..."
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"I am. Just arrived. Ran into Asher downstairs. How are you, Nathaniel?"
Anita's eyes move over his half-clothed body, looking for signs of injury.
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"I'm fine," he murmurs, curling in on himself, withdrawing.
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"Asher says you've been spending time with him," she murmurs. "When Liz and Jason are busy." At his nod, she sighs. "Well, now I'm here. You can always find me, all right?"
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"I'm all right," he insists. "Jason and Liz and Asher have been taking care of me. And there's Yrael and Charlie." Nathaniel smiles. "I'm... glad you're here, though, Anita. I'm sure everyone will be happy to see you."
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Anita knows she could just pull Nathaniel out of the room rather than send Asher away, but Nathaniel looked happy where he was. She was content to leave him there for the time being.
Of course, it doesn't even occur to her that the vampire could eavesdrop through the door, she's simply too focused on the current problem of extricating Nathaniel from Asher's bed.
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"I shall return to the bar, call me if you have need of me," he murmurs, having no intention of doing any such thing. He will wait outside the door. Not because he doesn't trust Nathaniel to keep their relationship secret, but because he fears what Anita may do if she works it out.
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Was he afraid of Asher?
"Nathaniel," she says slowly. "I think it might be best if you stayed with Elizabeth or Jason or myself from now on. I'll talk to them about it. Maybe bring Micah here so that you'll have more pard."
A soft sigh leaves her lips.
"I think it would be best if you kept away from Asher. He isn't like Damian. No one reins him in, not even Jean-Claude. Nathaniel, look at me." When he does, she holds his eyes -- so terribly old, but so heartbreakingly vulnerable. "Stay away from him. He can't be trusted with you because you just can't tell someone no. If you become lonely, want to be read to, need your hair combed, come find one of us."
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"He's my... friend, Anita," he murmurs. "I don't want to stop seeing him, talking with him."
He wouldn't be able to cope, he simply wouldn't. Nathaniel needs Asher, loves him, is bound to him, and what Anita was asking him to do was impossible.
"Please don't make me stop being around him," he found himself quietly begging.
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He barely hears Nathaniel's soft reply, resting his hand against the door jam as he tries to find the strength to walk away, to stop listening. He knows how this must end, knows that if it comes to a choice between Anita nd him, Nathaniel will choose Anita.
But he cannot believe Anita has distrusted him so easily. This proves that any affection was from Jean Claude's memories, not from her.
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Another sigh.
"Either with someone from the pard or in public," she says. "We need to keep you safe, Nathaniel." She smiles at him. "Someone to sit in with you will make sure he doesn't do anything he shouldn't."
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"He doesn't hurt me," he murmurs. "He never has. I... don't think he ever will." Now he looks at her. "Can I please eat my food here, with him? I'll come find you and the others in a bit. Damian's in my room. You should go check on him." He tells her the room number, not really hungry but needing her gone. "I'll come there in a couple hours."
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Asher knew she was here now, that she would kill him if he harmed Nathaniel, so she can't find fault with allowing Nathaniel's request. She could use that time to speak with Damian, maybe find Elizabeth and Jason, organize things.
"All right," she says, standing. "I won't be far away."
She slips out of the room, pausing at the door, frowning. They would have to be careful. Anita heads down into the bar to find Asher, and when she does, she is all stiff business once more.
"He wants to see you," she tells him. "Eat with you, and then he'll come to us." She looks away from Asher for a moment. "Nathaniel has a lot of faith in you, the same sort Jean-Claude has."
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"Are you threatening me, Anita?" Much like Jean Claude, for Asher to use Anita's name rather than a nickname is always a sign of anger.
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"No, Asher, I'm making you a promise."
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He opens his door, gazing unhappily at Nathaniel, every emotion written clear on his face.
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He's been trying not to, being relatively silent about it, but he's miserable. He just sits there, staring at Asher, lost and afraid and unsure.
"You don't want me anymore, do you?" he finally whispers, misreading what he sees on Asher's face, assuming the worst.
He feels every bit as young as his twenty-years are, and that vulnerability shines as bright as his tears as he waits for Asher to tell him he's simply too much trouble to deal with.
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"No, Nathaniel, it's not that, not at all. I am just afraid of the trouble Anita's presence could cause." He gently cups Nathaniel's face in his hands, kissing him. It starts sweet, but Asher can't keep it that way, too scared, too desperate and hungry for one last taste of Nathaniel.
"I will always want you, mon chat," he whispers. "Never doubt that." He slides one hand round to the nape of Nathaniel's neck, resting his forehead against Nathaniel's, his eyes closed.
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"We'll find a way around her. The others know. Damian, Micah, Liz, Jason... they know and they'll make sure we're safe. The secret kept."
His hands cling to Asher, pull him closer.
"Keep me, please? Please," he whispers raggedly, begging Asher not to leave him. "I promise I'll make sure I'm not too much trouble, even with her here, I promise, Asher, I promise."
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"I love you," he whispers, needing to say it, to reassure them both.
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"And I love you, mon chat," he whispers back, tangling his fingers in Nathaniel's hair to hold him close, tugging hard enough to force Nathaniel's head back. He bows his head, pressing his face into the curve of Nathaniel's shoulder, lips against his neck, breathing him in.
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He stares at the ceiling with more tears in his eyes.
"What did you say?" he breathes, not believing the words that keep echoing in his ears.
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He cups Nathaniel's face in hsi hands, looking deep into Nathaniel's eyes.
"I love you." He gently brushes Nathaniel's hair back over his shoulders, reaching for the silver hair clasp he had given Nathaniel, pressing it gently into Nat's hand.
"It was a token of my love. mon chat. I am a coward, when it comes to matters of the heart."
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"Afraid... of loving me?"
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"Not possible," he whispers.
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He wants nothing more than to stay here all night, to just lie in Nathaniel's arms while he can. But he knows that Anita will come looking, soon enough.
"Would you like me to braid your hair, mon chat?"
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"I want you to not let go. I told Anita I'd find her in a couple of hours. Don't send me away before dawn. Please?"
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"Stay with me, mon chat," he whispers, his fingertips caressing the soft dimples above the curve of Nathaniel's ass. "Stay with me until I die today."
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"I'd stay forever, Asher," he breathes against his vampire's throat. "With you."
Forever was not a concept he understood, but he doesn't care. If it was with Asher, he would learn what forever meant.
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"I would. If I could, I would."
But he wasn't a vampire. He was a wereleopard, and though he aged slower, he still aged. Eventually, he would leave Asher, no matter how tightly they held onto one another.
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Knowing they'll only drive themselves mad, talking about this, Asher ducks his head, catching Nathaniel's lips, kissing the salty taste of tears from his skin.
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I got a really good heart
No sex, no arousal, no gift to roll his mind.
I just can't catch a break
Just the two of them and that most basic connection, what had started everything between them that Nathaniel would never let go of.
If I could I'd treat you like you wanted me to I promise
Gently, he's laid on his back, lips moving down his body, hands spread his legs. His hands stay wrapped in silken gold strands, his eyes closed as lips ghost over his thigh, over that one spot, that same spot. Nathaniel's tears slowly slide down his temples, wet the pillow, and the sharp pain of Asher's bite pulls a strangled sob from him.
But I'm fractured from the fall
And I wanna go home
Forever.
It takes two when it used to take one
If he had forever, he would give it to Asher.
It takes two when it used to take only one
Only to Asher.