(no subject)

[nathaniel_kitten]

"Nathaniel?"

He swims up from sleep, surrounded by Asher's scent, still feeling pleasantly content from the cuddling and kissing that had happened before he'd simply fallen asleep on his vampire.

But that voice was not Asher's.

And neither was that scent.

He sits up suddenly, wide awake, and stares with wide eyes at Anita. His eyes dart from her to Asher, panic in their depths. "Anita?" he chokes out. "You're... you're here..."

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[ash-imperfect.livejournal.com]

Asher rests his forehead against the cool wood of the door, his eyes closing as he listens to Anita, listens to the woman who has already kept him from Jean Claude's bed as she tries to keep Nathaniel from his.

He barely hears Nathaniel's soft reply, resting his hand against the door jam as he tries to find the strength to walk away, to stop listening. He knows how this must end, knows that if it comes to a choice between Anita nd him, Nathaniel will choose Anita.

But he cannot believe Anita has distrusted him so easily. This proves that any affection was from Jean Claude's memories, not from her.

[anita_blake]

Anita stares at him for a long time, feeling as if she were speaking to a child. Why did Nathaniel get himself into these situations where he could be taken advantage of? Hurt?

Another sigh.

"Either with someone from the pard or in public," she says. "We need to keep you safe, Nathaniel." She smiles at him. "Someone to sit in with you will make sure he doesn't do anything he shouldn't."

[nathaniel_kitten]

Nathaniel looks away from her, closing his eyes, and gives a small nod.

"He doesn't hurt me," he murmurs. "He never has. I... don't think he ever will." Now he looks at her. "Can I please eat my food here, with him? I'll come find you and the others in a bit. Damian's in my room. You should go check on him." He tells her the room number, not really hungry but needing her gone. "I'll come there in a couple hours."

[ash-imperfect.livejournal.com]

Asher smiles sadly, Nathaniel's words a small glimmer of hope. But Anita's already almost ensured nothing can happen between them; to have a chaperone forced upon him, to never be alone....Asher can only hope Anita's visits to the bar are few and brief. He moves away from the door, still in earshot but far enough away that he can dart down the stairs to the bar should Anita leave Nathaniel.

[anita_blake]

Anita considers.

Asher knew she was here now, that she would kill him if he harmed Nathaniel, so she can't find fault with allowing Nathaniel's request. She could use that time to speak with Damian, maybe find Elizabeth and Jason, organize things.

"All right," she says, standing. "I won't be far away."

She slips out of the room, pausing at the door, frowning. They would have to be careful. Anita heads down into the bar to find Asher, and when she does, she is all stiff business once more.

"He wants to see you," she tells him. "Eat with you, and then he'll come to us." She looks away from Asher for a moment. "Nathaniel has a lot of faith in you, the same sort Jean-Claude has."

[ash-imperfect.livejournal.com]

Asher arches an eyebrow at her, just as cool, just as business-like.

"Are you threatening me, Anita?" Much like Jean Claude, for Asher to use Anita's name rather than a nickname is always a sign of anger.

[anita_blake]

Anita meets his eyes unflinchingly, because she was protecting Nathaniel and she wouldn't back down on that.

"No, Asher, I'm making you a promise."

[ash-imperfect.livejournal.com]

Asher bows, slightly mockingly, smiling thinly as he passes her. He walks slowly, calmly, only hurrying when he's out of sight of the bar.

He opens his door, gazing unhappily at Nathaniel, every emotion written clear on his face.

[nathaniel_kitten]

Since she left, Nathaniel has been crying.

He's been trying not to, being relatively silent about it, but he's miserable. He just sits there, staring at Asher, lost and afraid and unsure.

"You don't want me anymore, do you?" he finally whispers, misreading what he sees on Asher's face, assuming the worst.

He feels every bit as young as his twenty-years are, and that vulnerability shines as bright as his tears as he waits for Asher to tell him he's simply too much trouble to deal with.

[ash-imperfect.livejournal.com]

Ashet immediately moves to Nathaniel's side, shaking his head.

"No, Nathaniel, it's not that, not at all. I am just afraid of the trouble Anita's presence could cause." He gently cups Nathaniel's face in his hands, kissing him. It starts sweet, but Asher can't keep it that way, too scared, too desperate and hungry for one last taste of Nathaniel.

"I will always want you, mon chat," he whispers. "Never doubt that." He slides one hand round to the nape of Nathaniel's neck, resting his forehead against Nathaniel's, his eyes closed.

[nathaniel_kitten]

Wet lashes close, his lips tingling from that kiss, and he sniffles.

"We'll find a way around her. The others know. Damian, Micah, Liz, Jason... they know and they'll make sure we're safe. The secret kept."

His hands cling to Asher, pull him closer.

"Keep me, please? Please," he whispers raggedly, begging Asher not to leave him. "I promise I'll make sure I'm not too much trouble, even with her here, I promise, Asher, I promise."

[ash-imperfect.livejournal.com]

"Shhhhhh, mon coeur. Everything will be alright. The thought of leaving you never crossed my mind, I promise you." Asher embraces him, resting his cheek against Nathaniel's hair, one hand rubbing Nathaniel's back.

[nathaniel_kitten]

His crying slowly tapers off, but he keeps his arms tightly around Asher, his face pressed to his vampire's throat.

"I love you," he whispers, needing to say it, to reassure them both.

[ash-imperfect.livejournal.com]

Asher closes his eyes against tears of his own, arms tightening.

"And I love you, mon chat," he whispers back, tangling his fingers in Nathaniel's hair to hold him close, tugging hard enough to force Nathaniel's head back. He bows his head, pressing his face into the curve of Nathaniel's shoulder, lips against his neck, breathing him in.

[nathaniel_kitten]

Nathaniel's ears ring.

He stares at the ceiling with more tears in his eyes.

"What did you say?" he breathes, not believing the words that keep echoing in his ears.

[ash-imperfect.livejournal.com]

Asher pulls back, smiling gently. He hasn't said it to Nathaniel, not in English. It's sad that it's Anita that's driven him to say it now, but the sheer dismay he felt when he saw her, when he realised Nathaniel was no longer solely his in Milliways, drove home exactly how deeply he cared for Nathaniel.

He cups Nathaniel's face in hsi hands, looking deep into Nathaniel's eyes.

"I love you." He gently brushes Nathaniel's hair back over his shoulders, reaching for the silver hair clasp he had given Nathaniel, pressing it gently into Nat's hand.

"It was a token of my love. mon chat. I am a coward, when it comes to matters of the heart."

[nathaniel_kitten]

The tears spill over onto his cheeks, and he holds that burning silver tightly in his hand as a sob rips its way from his throat.

"Afraid... of loving me?"

[ash-imperfect.livejournal.com]

"Afraid that I felt more for you than you felt in return." Asher admits, ducking head so that his hair falls as a veil between them.

[nathaniel_kitten]

Nathaniel tries to slip into Asher's lap, to wrap his legs around the vampire and hold tight.

"Not possible," he whispers.

[ash-imperfect.livejournal.com]

Asher picks Nathaniel up, carrying him over to the bed. He turns, sitting down, tugging Nathaniel higher in his lap, curling his body around Nathaniel's.

He wants nothing more than to stay here all night, to just lie in Nathaniel's arms while he can. But he knows that Anita will come looking, soon enough.

"Would you like me to braid your hair, mon chat?"

[nathaniel_kitten]

He buries his face against Asher's neck, shaking his head.

"I want you to not let go. I told Anita I'd find her in a couple of hours. Don't send me away before dawn. Please?"

[ash-imperfect.livejournal.com]

"I won't," Asher whispers. "Don't worry, mon petit. I won't send you away from me." He sheds his clothes, needing the comfort of bare skin against his, drawing Nathaniel under the covers and curling in to him.

"Stay with me, mon chat," he whispers, his fingertips caressing the soft dimples above the curve of Nathaniel's ass. "Stay with me until I die today."

[nathaniel_kitten]

Nathaniel tangles a hand in Asher's hair, pressing as close as he can, eyes closed against more tears.

"I'd stay forever, Asher," he breathes against his vampire's throat. "With you."

Forever was not a concept he understood, but he doesn't care. If it was with Asher, he would learn what forever meant.

[ash-imperfect.livejournal.com]

"Do not promise things that you cannot give," Asher whispers, closing his eyes, the scent of tears on Nathaniel's skin, the despair building inside him, enough to spill a few pink-tinged tears down his cheeks, his hands clutching at Nathaniel almost cruelly.

[nathaniel_kitten]

There's a soft, half-aborted sob against the hollow of Asher's throat.

"I would. If I could, I would."

But he wasn't a vampire. He was a wereleopard, and though he aged slower, he still aged. Eventually, he would leave Asher, no matter how tightly they held onto one another.

[ash-imperfect.livejournal.com]

The only thing that could extend Nathaniel's life would be the fourth mark, and Asher is far too apprehensive of such a thing to even suggest moving towards it. The first mark is enough, by far.

Knowing they'll only drive themselves mad, talking about this, Asher ducks his head, catching Nathaniel's lips, kissing the salty taste of tears from his skin.

[nathaniel_kitten]

Nathaniel just clings to him, his tears silent as he kisses Asher over and over, refusing to let him go. After long moments, he whispers raggedly against Asher's lips, "Would you feed from me? Please?"
I got a really good heart
No sex, no arousal, no gift to roll his mind.
I just can't catch a break
Just the two of them and that most basic connection, what had started everything between them that Nathaniel would never let go of.
If I could I'd treat you like you wanted me to I promise
Gently, he's laid on his back, lips moving down his body, hands spread his legs. His hands stay wrapped in silken gold strands, his eyes closed as lips ghost over his thigh, over that one spot, that same spot. Nathaniel's tears slowly slide down his temples, wet the pillow, and the sharp pain of Asher's bite pulls a strangled sob from him.
But I'm fractured from the fall
And I wanna go home
Forever.
It takes two when it used to take one
If he had forever, he would give it to Asher.
It takes two when it used to take only one
Only to Asher.