nathaniel_kitten | Incubus Dreams

Incubus Dreams - October 16th-18th

Since their discussion with Anita, Asher and Nathaniel haven't really discussed much. They've simply been enjoying the freedom without guilt Anita's acceptance has allowed them. But Nathaniel knows there is something they really do need to talk about. As reluctant as he is to break the comfortable joy Asher and he have been savoring, he knows better than to let something fester.

Nathaniel climbs into bed with Asher, sitting beside the dead form of his lover, and waits for the sun to set enough for Asher to wake. He smiles faintly, brushing his fingers through beautiful golden hair, his heart tightening with how much he feels for Asher. It never lessens, that gut-turning need to be close to Asher and never let go, and Nathaniel never wants it to become less intense.

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Nathaniel puts all the skill he can behind it, even snaking a finger between Asher's legs to press against his vampire's opening. Not pushing in, just massage, teasing that sensitive skin as he swallows around the thick flesh invading his throat. Asher had spent so long bringing him such pleasure, pain delivered with a gentle hand, and Nathaniel burns to return the favor, give Asher all the sensation he can.

Asher moans Nathaniel's name, clutching at him as he comes, spilling into Nathaniel's mouth, arching off the bed in a smooth curve. He can't think, can't do any more than gasp for breathe, tugging at Nathaniel until he has his leopard in his arms, warmth curled against him.

Nathaniel purrs, despite his breathless panting, cuddling close to Asher. This was everything to him. Yes, the pain and pleasure were wonderful, and he enjoys it immensely, but this... the moments after... when Asher holds him, kisses him, whispers to him... That's what he treasures most.

He nuzzles Asher's throat, kissing gently, still swallowing the taste of Asher. "I love you," he murmurs, hands touching, his body pressed as close to Asher's as he can manage.

"Je t'aime," he whispers, kissing back, sliding both his hands down Nathaniel's spine, slow and sweet, petting his locer.

"Mon jolie chat."

A soft sigh leaves Nathaniel's lips, and his purr deepens as he relaxes against Asher. It's heavenly, the closeness and petting.

"Thank you," he murmurs.

Asher smiles.

"Believe me," he whispers, "it was my pleasure, mon chat." He shifts just enough to grab the blankets and pull them over the two of them, wrapping his body around Nathaniel's, their hair tangled on the pillow.

Nathaniel chuckles, warm and sated and safe under the blankets with Asher.

"I believe you," he says. "You seem to rather enjoy making me forget everything but you."

Asher smiles, kissing Nathaniel.

"And is that a crime, mon chat?"

"You know it isn't."

It's comfortable there at Asher's side, and Nathaniel falls silent except for his purr. He's no longer sure if he should ruin what they've just shared by starting up a conversation he doubts Asher really even wants to have.

"You put your initial in my chest," he finally says, words soft. "It will scar."

Though he's sure that was Asher's intent.

Asher nods, kissing Nathaniel's forehead.

"Yes, mon chat. Though there are ways, it is fresh enough that it might be healed." If not, perhaps Yrael could be called upon once more to heal his scars.

Nathaniel's quiet for a moment.

"Do you want it healed?"

Asher shakes his head.

"Non." He runs his fingertips lightly over the cuts, his lips brushing Nathaniel's ear as he murmurs,

"You are mine."

A shiver runs down Nathaniel's spine.

"Then it will stay just as it is," he breathes.

Asher smiles, drawing Nat into his arms once more, closing his eyes as he kisses him, sweetly.

Nathaniel lays there for a while, listening to the stillness of Asher's body. He feels he needs to be honest about things, and that they need to finally discuss what they've been avoiding discussing since Anita came to Guilty Pleasures.

The Anita topic can wait. What is more pressing to Nathaniel...

"I made out with Damian at Guilty Pleasures after he did my final set with me," he murmurs.

Asher stills further, his hands resting on Nathaniel's back.

"I know," he murmurs, rolling onto his back, staring up at the ceiling.

"Byron told me."

Nathaniel instantly presses himself to Asher's side, missing the closeness of arms and lips.

"What else did he tell you?" he asks slowly.

"That he smelt your release," Asher murmurs. "That you and Damian were in the closet in the dressing room for a long time." It's said quietly, without feeling. Asher had said that it could happen, that Damian and Nathaniel were allowed to be intimate.

He cannot bring himself to be happy that they have become so, though.

"He didn't fuck me."

Nathaniel wants that very clear.

He presses kisses to Asher's shoulder.

"In fact, other than the whole kissing thing in the closet, Damian didn't touch me."

Asher nods, reaching up to comb his fingers through Nathaniel's hair, almost distractedly.

"Very well," he answers simply.

Nathaniel sighs and sits up, crossing his legs and folding his hands in his lap.

"I think the temperature in here has just dropped ten degrees." He stares down at his hands, his brow furrowed. "You're in love with Jean-Claude. I know you have some sort of feelings for Anita too. While I worry that once you truly have them both, you won't need me, I tell myself that's a silly thing to worry about and reassure myself that you're also in love with me. Damian kisses me, or I jerk off and he sees it, and you..."

Nathaniel sighs.

"You want to know the difference between us?" he asks, looking up to stare at Asher now. "You're in love with Jean-Claude and I accept it because there's really no point in arguing. I don't want to make you unhappy because I'm afraid. I'm not in love with Damian, and you're jealous. I'm in love with you. If anyone should be jealous, it's Damian. I love him, yeah, like I do Jason, and I want to have sex with him, but it's so different. It's like... a flashlight compared to the fucking sun."

Asher leans up on his elbows, reaching out for Nathaniel.

"I know it is stupid," he admits. "I know that you love me, that you are mine." He sighs. "I do not know why I feel this way about you and Damian. I would quite happily let you be intimate with Jason." He shrugs, looking down at his hands.

"I fear that you will find Damian more pleasing," he admits, quietly. "That you will grow to love him as you love me, that you will find him a more suitable lover. He...he has been a better friend to you than I have."

"Why?"

Nathaniel doesn't pull away from Asher, but he stares at him, trying to understand.

"Why would I find him more suitable? Why do you think he's been a better friend? I can't... I can't fix something I don't understand."

"Because he listened to you when I could not." Asher murmurs quietly. "Because he is not afraid." Damian may have his own problems, his own fears, but he has never been afraid of Nathaniel, of loving him.

"I don't know," he says at last. And it is that which frustrates him. "If I knew why I felt jealousy, I could prevent it."

Nathaniel looks away from Asher, staring at a chair in the corner. Asher's unhappiness is unacceptable. It's simply unacceptable to Nathaniel, and he won't knowingly be the cause of it for the vampire.

"Then it stops," he says. "It all stops with Damian. I won't kiss him or chase after him anymore. I would promise not to touch him, but I can hardly do that. I'm a lycanthrope. I like touching people I care about."

He'd give up anything and everything if it makes Asher happy for just a little while.

"If you don't want me with Anita, should she ever decide I'm something she wants, I'll even do that." It would hurt something fierce to turn Anita away, but he'd do it. For Asher, he'd do just about anything. "I'm yours."

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