nathaniel_kitten | (no subject)

(no subject)

Nathaniel enters the bedroom with a towel in hand as he carefully dries his hair. He ignores Micah's presence for the moment, fetching a pair of jogging shorts from a drawer and slipping them on before picking up a comb and bottle of leave-in conditioner.

He sits on the bed, hair swept over his shoulder, and opens the bottle, squeezing some into his palm and working it his damp hair. Staring at the floor, he begins the arduous task of combing out his hair and braiding it back for bed.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Nathaniel returns the gesture, his own purr blossoming in response to Micah's nearness, the warmth of SAFE radiating off his Nimir-raj.

"You won't tell Anita?" he whispers.

Though he knows Micah would not betray his confidence, he still needs to hear it.

"I won't tell Anita," he repeats. "I won't tell anyone you don't want me to, little one."

There is the slightly problematic possibility of Jean-Claude telling Anita, but they'll cross that bridge when they come to it. He holds his leopard close, transcending the nearness of brothers, falling short of lovers.

It's the safeness of Pard.

"Damian knows, but only him."

Which meant Micah could talk to Damian about it if he wanted to.

He melts into the embrace, purring softly, reassured by the promise he'd have a home.

Oh, he will be talking to Damian, and Asher both. "You're not going to get kicked out, Nat. Even with Anita as our Nimir-Ra, I'm not going to let that happen," he purrs, feeling the gentle rumble through Nathaniel's back.

It's comforting. "I'll be talking the more than one vampire, then, it seems. He was on moderately civil terms with Jean-Claude, which helped. Not being on the Master of the City's shit list helped a lot of things.

Nathaniel lays down on his side on the bed, knees drawn up, terribly tired.

Blood loss, sex, and emotional meltdown had sapped his strength.

"This is the only place I've ever really called 'home'," he sighs.

Home was safe, and the places he'd lived before had been anything but truly safe.

Micah lays down behind him, one arm carelessly laying against Nathaniel's side in a half embrace as he purred against him. "Really?"

He spooned against the other leopard comfortably, brushing a stray wisp of hair back. "I...am glad I'm here. And won't be going anywhere soon." He'd first volunteered to be a leader under Chimera, and...now it felt strangely right, in place.

He nods.

"The other places I've spent my life weren't... weren't what I would call 'home'. Home means safe and warm and happy. Where I tended to be couldn't be described like that. Even safety wasn't really safe."

"We might have to change that," he murmurs. "I like you safe. And all in one functioning piece," he adds, speaking into the juncture of Nathaniel's neck and shoulder.

"And I suspect Asher does as well?" He better.

Nathaniel smiles fondly, comfortable, liking the feel of Micah's voice against his skin.

"He keeps trying to get me to want things," he says. "He encourages me to want for myself, for my own pleasure, and not someone else's, but he does it so carefully..."

"Do you like it, that he does that?" Micah has never been particularly a sub, not like Nathaniel is. "I'd think it healthy that you want things, on your own."

"It's different."

He's quiet for a moment, considering.

"I just want to please him, have him keep me."

And that meant he'd do anything Asher wanted him to in order to stay in his vampire's good graces.

Oh, that said volumes. "Is it? Does wanting him to be pleased and keep you replace everything else?"

If it did...there could be problems. "Sounds like you're rapidly getting to the head-over-heels portion of things," he murmurs, thinking. That, in conjunction with Anita's sensibilities, could let things go downhill quick, fast, and in a hurry.

"Head-over-heels?"

Nathaniel shakes his head slightly, causing his throat to throb dully where Asher had bitten him.

"Wanting to please him matters, but I... I need to please Anita, too."

He needed to keep her happy with him so he didn't lose everything he'd just become accustomed to having. He cleaned her hope, did her errands, cooked for everyone... he had to be useful, since she wasn't fucking him, and now that he'd begun what he had with Asher, if she found out, she never would.

Micah had found out what Nathaniel's version of pleasing meant, not long after meeting him.

"Nat, I know what you mean, but Anita's a grown woman. You can please her without being at her beck and call. She's not going to kick you out of the house, or the Pard. I promise." Much as he liked the way the group functioned, there were times when he really did want to remind everyone that nobody here was an invalid.

"She protects me," he insists softly, "She looks out for me."

If she stopped, who would?

"I know she does, and I will too. I just want you to be happy without having to constantly think of what you have to do for other people."

Nathaniel looks over his shoulder, pure honesty in his eyes.

"I don't know how to be any other way, Micah."

"I know. Asher, and the rest of the Pard, can teach you how to act for yourself, if you want. I don't want to make you do anything you don't want, Nat."

"I... think that's a lot harder than you can imagine," he says, laying his cheek against the pillow again.

After all, he'd been doing as he was told since he was twelve, when he'd found himself with his first pimp. Even before that, he'd had Nicky to tell him what to do, making all the hard choices for him.

"I'm not arguing that, you'd know better than I do. But I do want to help you be more...independent. If you want to be."

He hugged him close, purring contentedly at Nathaniel's back. When he fell asleep, Micah might leave, try to figure out where this Asher was to talk to him. Maybe.

Nathaniel's purr begins again, softer, allowing the alpha leopard's purr to dominate his own.

"I can drive. I have my own checking account. I buy all the groceries. I have a job."

Wasn't that independence?

"I know you do all those things, and it makes me glad you do," he says, cutting through the purr. "I just want you content with what you're doing, and not being unnecessarily subservient."

"Am I being unnecessarily subservient?"

Translation: what am I doing wrong?

Micah can hear the other question. "You're not doing anything wrong, Nathaniel. I just want to make sure you're really content," he says, scritching at the base of the leopard's neck.

Nathaniel presses into the scritching, his purr becoming louder. He knew dawn had to have come by now, Damian and Asher long dead to the world, and he sighs.

"I'm content."

The real question was, was he happy? And he didn't know if he wanted to answer that because he knew what the answer would be.